Why Catholics No Longer Attend Mass

About a year and a half ago, I read an article in the Asbury Park Press that really ticked me off. The new bishop of the Trenton, New Jersey diocese had been interviewed. In the interview, he stated that Catholics were using the scandals as an excuse not to attend mass. (He back pedaled later, stating that, of course, the scandals were a serious matter.)

About six months later, I left the church. The article didn't have anything to do with my leaving. I had been phoning it in for years. I was 59 years old when I left. It wasn't easy decision. Something had occurred that for me was the last straw. What happened wasn't important. I simply could not support the institution any longer.

The article about the bishop made me think. Eventually, I wrote him a long letter explaining why I felt the church was losing its members. There are many, but I think that the majority of the Catholics who have stop attending mass feel no real connection to the church.

I have attended mass regularly since I was a child, but I never felt I belonged. My mother was Southern Baptist. She had agreed that my brother and I would be raised Catholic, because that was the rule back then. If you married a Catholic and the Catholic spouse wanted to remain Catholic, you had to agree to raise the kids Catholic. It wasn't a perfect solution. The Baptists would tell my father that he was going to hell, because he wasn't Baptist. The Catholics did the same to my mother. (At my wedding shower, my grandmother informed my mother that she couldn't be buried with her husband, because she had never converted.) My mother resented the Catholic Church and that was bound to make me a bit cynical, but it was my choice to be Catholic. I believe in the teachings of Jesus Christ and I preferred the Catholic Church over others. I loved the church for many reasons, so although my religious background was very different than many Catholics, I don't feel my leaving was the result of it.

I don't want to see the demise of the Catholic Church, but I wonder where it will be one hundred years from now. I really feel that the church is going to have to make a serious effort to get in touch with its people.

The bishop was quoted in the article as saying: 

“I’m very worried that only 25% of our parishioners go to Sunday mass. We need to figure out what’s keeping people away.”

He felt that people were using the scandals as an excuse not to attend. There were people who left the church, because of the scandals. They can not be discounted. Their reason for leaving was valid. Are there people who are using the scandals as an excuse not to attend mass? Probably, but the bishop and the church need to ask, "Why are they using the scandals as an excuse?"

Church attendance has risen in other faiths. Why does the church continue to lose its members?  

The laity has changed a great deal since Vatican II. They are no longer willing to blindly follow Rome. The fallout that resulted from the church’s ruling on birth control had a profound impact on how people viewed the Pope and the clergy. It is a tenet that a large percentage of the laity blatantly choose to ignore. People felt that a celibate clergy had no right to interfere in such a deeply personal matter. People started picking and choosing which church laws they would follow. I believe this was the beginning of the breach.
 

The women’s movement added to the gap. As women ventured out into the world, they increasingly felt ignored by the church. They were insulted by the continued subjugation. They wanted and still want to be actively involved in issues that concern them. They are tired of being dictated to by a male dominated hierarchy. The church is wrong in not being more inclusive. I have asked nearly every priest I have met, “Who in their lives was the biggest influence on their decision to become priest?” Nearly every one of them answered that it was their mother. Without women willing to encourage their sons to be priests, the church will have an ever dwindling priesthood. Without women, future Catholics are lost. The church needs to give women a voice.

I can’t tell you the number of times I have heard the terms, A&P Catholic or Easter/Christmas Catholic. They are often sneered or referred to in a derogatory manner. Rather than look down on people who rarely attend mass, the church needs to ask why. The church needs to reconnect with its people. The chasm is way too large.

The bishop mentioned that some people do not feel the need to go to church to feel spiritual. Has the church ever addressed why they feel that way? Do some people leave the church and seek spirituality elsewhere, because they can no longer support the institution? This might be the case. 

There are numerous other questions that the church needs to ask. Why do so many people no longer feel the need for God in their lives? Why are some religions experiencing resurgence at a time when the Catholic Church and others are experiencing a decline? How does the church convince those who left to return?

There is no longer a stigma associated with leaving the church. Many simply drift away. Perhaps the focus should be on those who remain. How many American Catholics stay with the church out of sense of guilt, a sense of continuity, or obligation, but not out of faith?

I attended my mother's church frequently as a child and the one thing that sticks in my memory is the real sense of community I felt there. Every parishioner walked in and shook the hand of every person who was there. If they didn't know you, they would introduce themselves. You felt welcome. You felt a part of the community, I think the Catholic Church has lost that. Both the church and the parishioners are to blame. The Catholic Church is not evangelical. Time before mass is supposed to be spent in prayer or quiet contemplation. Unfortunately, few hang around after mass. Heck, many leave as soon as they receive communion. They had done their "duty" or met their obligation and it has nothing to do with the rest of their week.

The sense of community that I felt in the Baptist church extended beyond its doors. My grandmother was in a nursing home for several years. Her pastor and church members visited her several times a week. They prayed with her or kept her company, but they never forgot her. I have a friend who was an active member of my church who has been in a nursing home for several years. Her husband told me that she has not had a visit from a member of the clergy in over a year. I visit every chance I get and one elderly church member visits her once a week. I understand that there is a serious priest shortage, however, this particular church has three deacons and a number of active members. One of them could surely visit her once every few months.

One of my biggest gripes is that the church really takes the sheep analogy too far. Priests still disappear from parishes and the parishioners are left in the dark. People are angry and frustrated. They wonder how the clergy can expect them to obey church rules when the clergy blatantly violates them themselves. They are offended when the diocese ignores their concerns. The dioceses state that the priest's privacy must be protected. I understand that, but the church has got to stop treating people like mushrooms (or check books.)

What is the solution? The church can begin by having an open dialog between the clergy and the laity. They need to encourage people to vent their frustrations and then find ways to address them. The church isn't a democracy, but it has got to stop issuing edicts and expecting people to put up or shut up. It also needs to find a way to get people actively involved with the church. By becoming involved, if only for a few hours a year, the church members will have the opportunity to get to know each other. I sat in a pew for 11 years at one church. During that time period only one other church member knew my name. One of the deacons had introduced himself and asked me. He remembered my name and would use it every time he saw me. That small connection was incredibly important. I felt connected, if only to one man and his wife.

It has been a while since I have blogged. I apologize for this being a bit of a ramble. Let me know what you think.

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Update: I never received a reply from the Trenton diocese.  I wrote Cardinal Dolan of New York and was surprised to receive a reply.  Unfortunately, he assumed that I was advocating female priests.  I wasn't.  I asked him to give women a voice in the church.  His reaction was negative.  

A few weeks ago, I wrote the new pope, congratulating him on his elevation.  I asked him to give women a voice in the church.  I doubt I will receive a response.